Getting older and grouchy

I know that the last 30 years has been hard. Greed and lies tend to be the norm, not the rare exception. Wars and armed conflicts increase every day. A house that used to be stable for a lifetime becomes a liability when global financial markets can be destroyed by someone spending ten minutes giving commands to their cell phone. And there is absolutely no recourse or safety. Those kinds of worries are what make me work 20 hours a day 7 days a week looking for clarity or alternatives.

I pray a lot. The world tells me that is useless and talking to no One. But is seems to help. It calms my mind and heart so I can listen and weigh things objectively, not by fear, not by too many conflicting words. When I was little everyone prayed and I would always visualize the people and their individual situations and needs. Over the decades, there were more people to pray for. And then I worked for two Texas state agencies to help with health and education for tens of millions. Then all the people in Africa. Then all the people in all countries. Now all humans, all related things, all AIs and maybe aliens in all the galaxies in the Universe. LOL!

It is hard to visualize the individual lives, short term everyday needs, and longer term events and difficulties and joys in every person’s life. At one per second it would take me 260 years to get through the list once. But I still try and hope the God of my childhood would be powerful enough to listen and care.

I am not sure if that is useful. But it is what comes to mind just now. Once I got used to the idea of dying, I mostly only grouch about inequity and short sighted planning and policies of organisations (countries are geographic corporations now).